Lifeguard or garden gnome: which type of cap are you?
11/12/2025
Translation: machine translated
Attention, cliché! If you want to know what your winter headgear reveals about you, read on.
What does my hat say about me? The idea for this story came to me this morning when I was standing at the train station, shivering slightly, waiting for my train and watching the people around me.
And before you choke on your (non-alcoholic) mulled wine: Please don't take what I write too seriously. The Christmas season is stressful enough for all of us.
The garden gnome
The garden gnome wears a long, rather stiff hat that tapers to a point or folds in teasingly. Of course, the garden gnome type has more to offer than just standing around at a railway station in Hamburg. And he's not stuffy either. Or is he? I'd rather not say, otherwise I'll get in trouble with my neighbours.
In any case, we have warming models from Fjällräven, Carhartt and Jack & Jones in the shop.
The lifeguard
The lifeguard wears something that looks like a ... swimming cap. Tight-fitting, this headgear reveals more than it conceals. A lot of hair doesn't fit underneath. But that doesn't matter, because the swimming cap is mainly worn by men over the age of 45 who want to jog away from the midlife crisis. In this respect, the hair problem should be negligible. Cough.
Basically, the lifeguard type is sporty and pragmatic. He simply continues to wear his running cap in everyday life. After all, many sports caps are equipped with reflectors, which can save lives in winter, as my colleague Martin knows. Regardless of whether it looks good or not.
The woman from Hamburg
The Hamburger doesn't mind getting cold ears. The main thing is that the headgear is true to the North German style and still allows some of the hairstyle to show. Fisherman's hats are often knitted from sturdy cotton and have a turn-up. The Hamburg woman could fold it down in a storm, but she doesn't. Because then she would look like a tourist.
By the way: the original fisherman's cap is black. Now in stock, you can also get other colours.
The eternal sonny boy
The eternal sonny boy wears a cap instead of a knitted hat. It's exactly what he wears all year round anyway. You can recognise it by the fact that his cap has been faded by the sun and is slightly creased.
The eternal sonny boy doesn't care that the sun has long since stopped shining and a cap like this doesn't even begin to keep him warm. He has summer in his heart.
The minimalist
The minimalist doesn't wear a hat at all. She wears a headband. This keeps her ears cosy and warm and her hairstyle intact. For the minimalist, less is more. Full stop.
The twisted smurf
The twisted Smurf is characterised by the beanie hanging down as far as possible at the back. It is twisted because the hat of the real Smurfs flops forwards.
As a type, the Beanie Smurf is rather casual and is unlikely to spend too long in the winter cold. This is because most beanies are made of thin fabric rather than thick knitwear. Smurfette, Clumsy and Torti would definitely love these hats.
Which hat do you wear? Tell me in the comments!
Header image: Pixabay
Anika Schulz
Teamleader Editorial
Anika.Schulz@galaxus.deAs a child, I was socialised with Mario Kart on SNES before ending up in journalism after graduating from high school. As a team leader at Galaxus, I'm responsible for news. I'm also a trekkie and an engineer.
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