Ref, that was a treat!
Instead of a football match, I spent 90 minutes in a cat cafe. A report on animal pressing, questionable fouls, creative tactics and unexpected winners.
Sometimes life sends you a sign: For example, when your motel on a team trip is located right next to a cat café. Of course, I would have visited it even if I had to travel to the other end of Hamburg. But this way, a detour turned into a regular spot.
And so, while a few teammates watch a football match on a Tuesday evening, I prefer to watch cat reflexes, boxes, and crates at the Katzentempel next door.
Line-up
As I walk in, a stately, grey-and-white tomcat scrutinizes me with the authority of a captain: Herr von und zu Ottensen. He lives here with five teammates. I nod to him in acknowledgment and sit down on the bench.
"Oh, excuse me!" I almost overlooked the calico Pauli. She forgives my foul – in exchange for a quick scratch – and lets me sit opposite her.
There I study the menu. Besides a hangover breakfast, purrschettas, and a Catprese sandwich, I find the rules of the Katzentempel:
- Approach cautiously, especially sleeping cats
- Do not chase or pick up
- Keep the cat flap to the resting area clear
- Do not feed
Sounds strict, but fair. After all, I've often witnessed boundary violations in dealing with cats – and referees who looked the other way. Actually, this would be the perfect place for a small behavioral study… of humans, of course.
I open my laptop and discreetly peek over the edge of the screen.
Kick-off
1. The Trickster
First, I focus on the young man opposite. He behaves defensively. When the black-and-white Wilmi dribbles between his legs and sniffs his feet, he only glances up briefly. Then he returns to his food. But... what do I see there? Suddenly, a hand unnoticed moves down to the greedy tomcat. Is that a treat? I can't quite make it out, but some rule violation is definitely happening here. This calls for VAR!
2. The Striker
A few tables away, two older ladies are beside themselves. Their persistent "Psssssss, pssss!" hisses over to me. Herr von und zu Ottensen retreats in disgust to a higher spot to look down on the two troublemakers. One begins to scratch Pauli, who is lying in a hammock. "Rrrrr, I could eat you up!" she coos. Pauli slaps her with a paw. That's how you defend the penalty area.
3. The Tactician
In front of me on the floor, a child has sat down in front of the red-and-white cat, Eppi. It blinks little love messages at her and patiently holds out its small hand. Eventually, Eppi takes pity and bumps her head against the small fingers, somewhat more gently than Zidane. The child giggles. Fair play pays off.
4. The Pressing Player
A bit more pressing is happening further back with a teenager. The junior works on cat bellies with the persistence of a full-back. Again and again, a delighted "Ooooooi!" escapes him. The almost blind tomcat Toni acknowledges the enthusiasm with a bewildered look and a playful bite. But the youngster is not deterred. Giggling, he grabs the cat wand and tries a new tactic.
5. The Joker
A young woman has barely caught my attention so far. She seems to have come along more for her colleague's sake than for the cats. With a mix of reluctance and disgust (much like how I watch football), she observes the cats from a respectful distance. No blinking, no scratching, no hissing, no treats. About an hour later, she is the only one who has scored a direct hit: Tomcat Georgi is lying on her lap.
Match Analysis
Smiling, I close my laptop. 90 minutes are up. I've seen enough. People may think they control the game. In reality, they are just on the sidelines. The cats decide who gets to play and who watches the game from the bench.
Have you also been to a cat café? Share your experiences in a comment.
I love everything with four legs or roots – especially my rescue cats Jasper and Joy and my collection of succulents. I’m happiest following the scent of stories about police dogs and cat groomers – or cultivating thoughtful tales in garden flea markets and Japanese gardens.
Interesting facts about products, behind-the-scenes looks at manufacturers and deep-dives on interesting people.
Show all
