Reviewing Crime Boss: Rockay City – brainless gunplay starring Chuck Norris, Danny Trejo and Vanilla Ice
Game review

Reviewing Crime Boss: Rockay City – brainless gunplay starring Chuck Norris, Danny Trejo and Vanilla Ice

Translation: Patrik Stainbrook

Crime Boss: Rockay City is a magnificent car crash. The game is a love letter to trashy 90s action movies. Unfortunately, it never comes together due to boring gameplay and repetitive missions. Even Chuck Norris can’t help with that.

Crime Boss: Rockay City was first introduced at the Game Awards 2022. The trailer grabbed me immediately. Plenty of action, drugs and explosions. Kickass. I like the setting, too. Crime Boss: Rockay City is set in a fictional town in 1990s Florida. The trailer is chock full of neon colours and snazzy 90s visuals. Accompanying the action are the Stereo MCs and their 1992 hit, Connected. Rounding out the trailer is a sensational cast of 90s Hollywood action stars – and Vanilla Ice.

I played the game for about six hours. And I can’t shake the feeling that the entire budget raised by the development studio went to paying the (ex-)stars. Who naturally phoned in their performances.

Lousy work from an all (ex-)star ensemble

In Crime Boss: Rockay City, you take on the role of Travis Baker, aspiring drug dealer. Your goal is to gain control over the whole city. And not just the drug trade, but every illegal activity in Rockay City. In short, you want to be a crime boss.

The game world is full of shady characters and brutal gang lords, portrayed by an all-star cast of mostly nineties action heroes.

  • Chuck Norris – known for Walker, Texas Ranger and memes
  • Vanilla Ice – white rapper from the 90s, known for Ice Ice Baby
  • Danny Trejo – known for Machete, From Dusk Till Dawn
  • Michael Rooker – known for The Walking Dead, Guardians of the Galaxy
  • Kim Basinger – known for LA Confidential, Final Call
  • Michael Madsen – known for Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill
  • Danny Glover – known for Lethal Weapon
  • Damion Poitier – known for stunt work and games like Payday 2

As a 90s kid, my hype levels were pretty high. But after only a few minutes of playtime, a lingering disappointment sets in.

Throughout the game, I’m endlessly bombarded with qualitatively questionable cutscenes in which Chuck Norris and his action buddies discuss all sorts of weird things. What is happening? Storytelling? Nope. It looks like someone randomly shuffled the game’s video library.

Sadly, the quality of the acting on display is also lacking. The only positive that stands out is Damion Poitier, who convincingly plays his role as an advisor to drug dealer Travis Baker.

What’s really shocking is Chuck Norris’ "acting". He’s supposedly the sheriff of Rockay City. His lines sound as if he read them at home, in bed, just after waking up. Or maybe a faulty AI took over the job. I can’t explain this miserable performance any other way.

The lowlight of the star ensemble is a comatose Chuck Norris. Someone get this man a coffee.
The lowlight of the star ensemble is a comatose Chuck Norris. Someone get this man a coffee.
Source: 505 Games

The scripts match the subterranean quality level of the actors. Gang lord Hielo, played by Vanilla Ice, uses «bitch» in what feels like every sentence. Again and again I’m confronted with gems such as «It’s crime time, motherfucker!» And after successfully completing missions, my team members regale me with near-Confucian quotations: Who is the bruisers? We is! Who is the loser? They is. I. Can’t. Stand. It. Any more.

I like trash. But this trash is just too trashy, even for me. There’s no meta-level, no irony. Everything here is just plain bad. And the rest of the game is no better.

Rogue-like single-player campaign

One of the few highlights of Crime Boss: Rockay City is its rogue-like single-player mode. In order for Travis Baker to rise to Crime Boss, he must capture and control as many areas of the city as possible. If Baker dies on a mission, the campaign ends and you start over. By levelling up, you take perks and weapons with you into a new run. Unfortunately, the dull shooter gameplay can’t keep up with this interesting idea.

The hub map lets you choose between several levels and missions. Missions and storylines are randomly generated during each run.

Your goal: Travis Baker needs to take over this map.
Your goal: Travis Baker needs to take over this map.
Source: Domagoj Belancic

On the one hand, there are turf wars. It’s your basic gun-based mission, in which you conquer territories from enemy gangs or defend your own regions.

Raids and robberies are much more thrilling. You can rob banks, shopping malls and even enemy gangs. This way, you’ll quickly assemble quite a stash of cash. You’ll need the money to acquire new weapons and recruit gang members. You should always keep an eye on your budget in order to have the upper hand in case of unexpected attacks from enemy gangs.

During robberies, your goal is to grab loot as quickly as possible and then disappear in a getaway car.
During robberies, your goal is to grab loot as quickly as possible and then disappear in a getaway car.
Source: 505 Games

In raids, you always have to balance between maximum profit and the safety of your team. Is it worth cracking a second safe? Or will you make a mad dash for the getaway car with the gold bars neatly packed away before getting overpowered by the police? It’s quite the choice, every time.

These dilemmas are the high points in Crime Boss: Rockay City. It’s all the more annoying that overrepetition and frustrating mission design ruin these exciting gameplay moments.

In armoured car robberies, you operate an electric saw to break down doors by way of a minigame. Balancing risk and reward in this way is fun.
In armoured car robberies, you operate an electric saw to break down doors by way of a minigame. Balancing risk and reward in this way is fun.
Source: Domagoj Belancic

Total escalation

In theory, you can meticulously plan each raid and recruit the appropriate members for each mission. The less chaos and damage you cause, the better. In practice, however, preparation is worthless, every mission will end in a chaotic gunfight anyway.

Stealth is barely and badly implemented. No matter what you do, missions will escalate into absolute chaos.
Stealth is barely and badly implemented. No matter what you do, missions will escalate into absolute chaos.
Source: Domagoj Belancic

Crime Boss: Rockay City doesn’t know what nuance means. You can try to tackle a mission in stealth mode. However, you don’t actually have many creative options. If you make even the tiniest mistake, all hell breaks loose immediately.

Want an example? I kill an enemy and go unnoticed. After a few minutes, an opposing gang member discovers the body. Suddenly, every enemy knows where my team is and we’re attacked from all sides. Pretty annoying. To make things even crazier, as the action intensifies, the police are also alerted and will blindly jump into the hail of bullets.

Shooting, constant shooting: every mission ends in a chaotic gunfight.
Shooting, constant shooting: every mission ends in a chaotic gunfight.
Source: 505 Games

The unavoidable shootouts wouldn’t be a problem if the gunplay were actually fun. Which it isn’t. The controls are cumbersome. Weapons lack punch. The gun balancing is mystifying too. With the shotgun, I can blast away enemies in one shot, even from a long distance. Other weapons feel useless in comparison.

Multiplayer frustration

This uselessness also extends to my AI team members. They often just stand around stupidly instead of doing their tasks or shooting enemies. If you don’t fancy brain-dead gang members, focus on multiplayer instead.

In Crime Time mode, you’ll complete short missions and earn money quickly. Urban Legends mode features three co-op campaigns to master. Like single player mode, they’re embedded in a story with qualitatively questionable cutscenes. In terms of content, these missions don’t differ much from the single-player campaign. You play the same maps and most of the missions will still end in a wild shootout.

Both modes are playable with friends as well as with strangers. I played exclusively with players I didn’t know for my review. And I kept struggling with technical problems. Some missions just won’t launch, for some reason. I keep getting kicked out of lobbies. Sometimes the game crashes completely.

I couldn’t verify whether multiplayer runs smoother with friends during my test.

Okay graphics

Graphically, Crime Boss: Rockay City looks quite nice at times. Outdoor areas in particular are beautifully implemented and give that Florida vibe. The character models are detailed. However, their animation often leaves a lot to be desired, especially during cutscenes.

It’s a pity the game looks blurry, even at max settings. The cutscenes are also poorly compressed, leading to clearly visible artefacts.

When there’s no shooting, the game gives off that holiday feeling.
When there’s no shooting, the game gives off that holiday feeling.
Source: 505 Games

I can’t fault the 90s soundtrack at all. Freestyler by the Bomfunk MCs really adds a lot of fun to missions.

Verdict: no, thanks

Somewhere deep, deep inside, Crime Boss: Rockay City is a solid co-op shooter. Its rogue-like approach to a single-player campaign is commendable and some missions can end in tense and nerve-wracking situations.

However, the game’s few fun moments are overshadowed by repetitive missions, bland gunplay and technical problems. The performances from the spectacular (ex-)star ensemble are also disappointing and can’t save the game.

In its current form, I can’t recommend Crime Boss: Rockay City. The dull gameplay will bore even the biggest trash and nineties lovers after a few hours. I doubt the already announced content roadmap will provide any added variety and more complex gameplay in the future. If you want to go on virtual raids with friends, there are far better alternatives in Payday 2 and GTA Online.

Crime Boss: Rockay City is available on the Epic Games Store. It was provided to us by 505 Games for testing purposes. The Xbox Series X/S and PlayStation 5 versions have been postponed indefinitely.

505 Games Crime Boss: Rockay City XBSX (Xbox Series X, DE)
Video games

505 Games Crime Boss: Rockay City XBSX

Xbox Series X, DE

Header image: 505 Games

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My love of video games was unleashed at the tender age of five by the original Gameboy. Over the years, it's grown in leaps and bounds.


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